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Eight Survival Tips for Living Together while Divorcing
Divorce, Transitions Melissa Kalil Divorce, Transitions Melissa Kalil

Eight Survival Tips for Living Together while Divorcing

Soon to be exes living under the same roof while a divorce is divorce is no picnic for the parties, much less any children involved. Uncomfortable at best, torture at worst, some common questions one may ask are “How on earth do we coexist under potentially hostile and awkward conditions?” “What if I do my part and he/she is still disrespectful/obstructive and in denial?”, “How do we not let this disrupt the kids?” While the imagery of a butterfly growing and developing whilst trapped in a chrysalis, comes to mind, I recognize that living under the same roof as your soon-to-be ex may not be quite so lovely. Here are eight survival tips to get you through this time until you are free to fly.

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The Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce
Divorce, Transitions Melissa Kalil Divorce, Transitions Melissa Kalil

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce

The emotional turmoil of divorce, characterized by depths of despair one day and euphoric highs the next, can aptly be compared to a rollercoaster. While some may enjoy living on the edge, I certainly did not appreciate the unpredictable twists and turns that came at breakneck speed during my own divorce. As I stood in line waiting with sweaty palms and a racing heart, I prepared myself for an unforgettable ride, but not in the way I would like. Here are the stages I encountered and lessons I learned along the way.

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Should I Keep the Home in the Divorce?
Divorce, Transitions, Divorce Finances Melissa Kalil Divorce, Transitions, Divorce Finances Melissa Kalil

Should I Keep the Home in the Divorce?

Whether or not to keep the house in your divorce is a sensitive decision and understandably so, of all assets to a couple's name, the marital home usually holds the most financial and sentimental value. There are three major areas of consideration when deciding what to do with your house during a divorce. The largest, and most obvious is the financial, but there are also practical and emotional components to think about as you weigh your options.

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Finding Gratitude in Divorce
Divorce, Transitions, Gratitude Melissa Kalil Divorce, Transitions, Gratitude Melissa Kalil

Finding Gratitude in Divorce

It was the ancient Greeks that said, “an unexamined life is not worth living.” If you take the time to truly examine the impact on your life of divorce or other challenges, you may just be amazed at what you overturn. I, for one, am going into this season of Thanksgiving with immense gratitude for my divorce and a second chance at a life worth living. Here are some prompts to help you get there too.

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Uncomfortable Questions
Divorce, Transitions, Mindset, Coaching, Parenting Melissa Kalil Divorce, Transitions, Mindset, Coaching, Parenting Melissa Kalil

Uncomfortable Questions

In even the most amicable of circumstances, divorce is still a transition that may call for more than a self-help book, a do-it-yourself program or google. Private coaching can be a game-changer. If you show up to each session, commit to the process and complete the action steps in between, you will notice considerable improvement in your confidence and decision making, hit milestones and feel an overall sense of leaning into your best self.

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What Does a Divorce Coach Do and Why Do I Need One?
Divorce, Transitions, Mindset, Coaching, Parenting Melissa Kalil Divorce, Transitions, Mindset, Coaching, Parenting Melissa Kalil

What Does a Divorce Coach Do and Why Do I Need One?

Coaching, particularly during divorce, is anything but superfluous and rather specialized support to help you get from where you are now to where you want to be as you navigate closing one chapter and starting another.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that engaging a good coach can save you time, money and unnecessary stress in the long run by dealing with the emotional fallout of divorce at a much lower hourly rate than a lawyer. 

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Emotional Regulation During Divorce and it’s Aftermath
Divorce, Transitions, Mindset, Parenting Melissa Kalil Divorce, Transitions, Mindset, Parenting Melissa Kalil

Emotional Regulation During Divorce and it’s Aftermath

I wound up as a single-parent in my early forties, out-numbered by button-pushing, tantrummy and back-talking little humans, triggered by them and triggered by their other parent. It became essential to have coping mechanisms on hand to control my rising temper, especially since the responsibility of modeling mature behavior mostly fell onto me as their primary caregiver.

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